


Marigold

by Theyisms



Series: Son of a Preacher Man [16]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Closeted Character, Confessions, Fluff, I Made Myself Cry, It finally happens ahhhh, Kissing, Lots of laughing, M/M, Men Crying, Religious Discussion, Religious Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:49:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22486120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyisms/pseuds/Theyisms
Summary: Demyx finally tells the truth for once, and comes a little bit closer to who he’s supposed to be.
Relationships: Axel/Demyx (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Son of a Preacher Man [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1398067
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Marigold

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re still reading by this point, I love you!!!

“Question…”

Everything is warm. From the hand that’s casually resting on his ass to the calm respirations on his neck where Axel’s face is buried. It’s warm in his arms, warm beneath the covers, and warm inside his chest. They’ve been lying like this since Axel got home from work. He never wants to move.

Demyx doesn’t feel like opening his eyes. He won’t be able to see Axel’s face from this angle anyway. “Mm?”

“When we first met, you said you told your dad you were into guys two years ago. Did he not believe you or something?”

Demyx parts his lips to speak, but a tired sigh comes out instead. There are a lot of things he’s still not proud of. This is one of them:

“There’s a story to that. Back then, I barely knew who I was, and I was still dealing with religious guilt. At the same time, I was struggling with my feelings for one of my really good friends. I told that friend about it, and he actually liked me back. He knew about my religion and told me to take my time deciding what I wanted, but I rushed it because he made me happy. And stupid me started listening to those shitty online articles telling people that it’s better to just come out and be who you are. I told my dad that I _might_ have a crush on _one guy_ and he went fucking ballistic.”

Demyx pauses as his mind brings him back to that awful moment in his father’s office. It still hurts just as much today as it did back then. “I don’t think he ever had much respect for me to begin with, but I could literally look him in his eye and see that last shred of...I dunno...hope? Love? Whatever. _Whatever_ it was, I watched it die that day.”

Axel buries his face deeper into his neck and kisses him. The soft touch brings him back to the present and helps him relax.

“So, after a long ass lecture and hours of searching through bible scriptures to find something that might have helped me, I...lied and told him I wanted to get baptised again so I could put those feelings behind me. After it was done, I ghosted the guy and never said anything about me liking guys ever again. I guess now he thinks the gay demon in me has been purged or whatever.”

Axel scoffs. “What a fucking loon. Dipping somebody in holy water doesn’t make cock suddenly unappealing.”

Demyx smiles to himself. His fingers make their way into Axel’s hair. “Say it louder for the deacons in the back.”

“Don’t test me. I’ve got 20 plus years worth of rants about organized religion sitting under my belt. I’ll never shut up.”

Demyx maneuvers his head so he can kiss Axel’s forehead without straining. “Sounds like a win for both of us. You get to vent your frustrations, I get to listen to your angry voice.”

“No, I will seriously—what?” Axel pulls away to look up at him with a confused smile, but a smile no less. “What’s my angry voice?”

He starts to laugh. “It sounds…” His chortles turn into breathless wheezes. It won’t sound good, but he’s going to try to imitate it. “I-It sounds kinda like... _your dad is a piece of shit and he doesn’t deserve a son like you._ ”

Axel rolls his eyes, clearly trying not to laugh. “I do not sound like that.”

“ _Yes you do. You sound exactly like this._ ”

“You’re so irritating.”

“ _You’re so irritating—_ I’m literally you right now! You can’t tell me that’s not dead on!”

“Dude, you sound like an old woman with smoker’s cough on autotune!”

Demyx’s hand flies up to cover his mouth as he lets out another one of his famous cackles. Axel joins him, and it feels so nice to laugh this hard again. He wants to enjoy every second of this while it lasts.

Axel quickly pulls himself together as much as he can. “Wait, let me try to do your voice,” he says, remnants of his laughter threaded through every other word.

“Oh Jesus…”

He watches as Axel’s index finger comes to rest right below his bottom lip, eyes narrowing in concentration. “Yours is like _let me touch your freckles._ ”

The sound that leaves Demyx’s mouth is caught somewhere between a scream and a laugh. “Are you kidding me?! I don’t fucking sound like Michael Jackson!”

“That wasn’t Michael Jackson! You need a hearing check.”

“Oh yeah, right. The music major who literally _has_ to focus on sounds to progress in his future career needs a hearing check. It’s _my_ ears that are the problem.”

“I’m so glad you realize that. Now we can get you some help.”

“Jesuss Christ, you’re delusional. Fuck off.”

“You’re in _my_ bed right now. You fuck off.”

The blond narrows his eyes. ”Okay, cool. I’ll go home right now.”

“No you fucking _won’t_.”

Demyx doesn’t even get a chance to speak before Axel wraps his arms around him and rolls onto his back, dragging him along with him. Now he’s laying on top of him, trapped in his arms, and he can _not_ stop laughing. “Let me go! How can you tell me to fuck off and then not let me fuck off?!”

“Fuck off doesn’t mean leave. If I left you here by yourself when you said it to me, you’d be sad, wouldn’t you?”

He frowns as he looks down into pretty green. Of course he would have be sad. Not totally miserable, but he’d miss being next to him.

“Nope.”

“I think you’re lying,” Axel says with a knowing smile. “I think you would be sad.”

“I think not.”

“I think you would write me letters every day until I came back from the war.”

”Axel, _shut—_ ” The only thing he can do is lean his forehead against Axel’s shoulder and laugh for the millionth time today. He can’t move because of how tightly Axel’s arms are locked around his back and he doesn’t know how to argue with that. “I hate you so much.”

He hears a snort. “Every time I hear you say that, it adds a year to my life.”

“At this rate, you’ll live forever.”

A smirk spreads across Axel’s face. He snickers a bit. “I guess you could say that you... _bring me to life_.”

“SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP!”

Axel finally releases him, bringing his hands up to cover his mouth. His face is turning red, there are tears of mirth welling in his eyes, and he snorts loudly into his hands. “I’m so sorry!” he wheezes.

Demyx presses his lips together to keep from laughing at such a _stupid_ joke. He hates that he even recognizes the reference. “I think I actually hate you.”

His eyes screw shut as he snorts again. It takes him a minute to calm down and catch his breath. “Yeah, add another year. You’re only making me more powerful.”

The blond shakes his head as he sits up. Axel follows him, almost instinctively pulling him further into his lap. It feels natural. And for a moment Demyx thinks that maybe things are _supposed_ to feel like this. Maybe this is happiness.

He’s nervous again. What if he messes it up?

“What’s wrong?”

Demyx blinks. His attention comes back to Axel’s curious, if not worried, expression. “Nothing. Why?”

He doesn’t believe him. The sudden frown on his face make that clear. “You looked upset for a second. Scared, actually.”

Again, Demyx shakes his head, ready to deflect or deny as much as he needs to. “I’m…”

But the word _fine_ won’t come out. It’s not the first time he’s lied and said he was okay. Why can’t he do it again?

He sighs softly. “I just had a weird thought. Like, I really like being here with you. I’m happy here. But every time I acknowledge that, I start thinking about accidentally messing it up.”

Axel’s eyes soften. _He looks so cute like this._ “Mess it up how? I don’t think there’s anything you could do to push me away at this point.”

A pout forms on his lips. “I’m like extremely annoying. You don’t understand.”

“So? Annoy me. Get on my last fucking nerves, I don’t care. I just want you here.”

Demyx’s heart skips a couple beats. His body feels warm, and his face feels numb. Even his eyelids feel a bit heavier now. There are so many thoughts racing in his head, but the one that keeps making its way to the forefront is _I want to kiss him._

“I promise I’m not trying to be negative when I ask this, but…why?”

Axel leans forward and connects their lips. It’s such a brief moment of contact, but it draws Demyx in like a moth to a flame. Everything is so warm here. So very red and bright. He feels Axel’s hands creep up his thighs, over his hips, and settle onto his lower back. Their eyes are locked, and his stare is as intense as it always has been.

“Because I want you,” Axel tells him, as if that’s the most casual thing anyone could ever say.

That’s not enough for him. He doesn’t want to appear needy or clingy, but there has to be something more. He needs a real reason.

“ _Why?_ ” he presses. He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s looking for, but he thinks he’ll know it when he hears it.

Axel kisses him again. “Who _wouldn’t_ want you, Dem?”

“I’ve got a list if you wanna—”

“Stop. I’m not talking about your dad or your church or anybody who doesn’t know the real you.”

Demyx raises an eyebrow. “And you do?”

A smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. “I’d like to think I do.” He kisses him a third time. “You’re Demyx: the cutie with the praise kink and some amazing taste in music. The guy who, for some reason, has to wet his toothbrush before _and_ after toothpaste. The hilarious, excitable, caring _man_ who’s terrified to be exactly who he is because a few people made him feel bad about it.”

He feels the gentle touch of Axel’s fingertips on his chin. “You have a few issues. People have rejected you, abandoned you, and hurt you with no apologies for it. But you don’t make others suffer for it. You still try to be the best version of yourself that you can be while you look for the happiness you think you don’t deserve. You’re still trying to find a god to save you, even though you don’t need it. But no one’s ever told you that, have they?”

Demyx swallows hard as a tear drips down his cheek. Maybe Axel does know him. A little bit.

“You worry so much about sin and grace that you don’t see how much you’ve blessed the people who want to be in your life. You obviously don’t see yourself the way I see you, and that’s why I think I know you.”

Another tear falls. Demyx is fully aware that he’s trembling, but not from fear or sadness. He has sat through so many sermons and read so many verses, and yet this is the first thing he’s ever heard that feels like the truth. His truth. No one else’s, and not one that he has to share will millions of other people.

No one is forcing him to believe this. He just does.

Demyx sniffs as he finally breaks their eye contact. “Is it...bad that I still want to believe in a god?”

Axel chuckles softly. “Not really. Actually, can I tell you something really stupid?”

This makes Demyx look at him again. “What is it?”

His smile never leaves his face. “I was having a pretty shit time right before I met you. It felt like everything in my life was falling apart, and I broke down. I was so bad off that I actually started praying,” he laughs. “My exact words were, _If you’re fucking real, then show me. Make this shit better._ A week passes and shit gets worse. So I told myself that I would go to my favorite bar and drink myself stupid. I get there and realize I forgot my wallet. But when I go to _leave_ …”

Demyx’s eyes widened. “We bumped into each other.”

“Exactly,” Axel grins. “And now every time I look at you, I hear that prayer again and realize that it’s been answered in the best way.”

Although the tears are still falling, he doesn’t want to cry again. He quickly wipes them away, rolling his eyes playfully. “So I guess you like me or something.”

“I do!” Axel laughs. It’s such a rich, lighthearted sound that makes Demyx feel like he’s finally doing something right. “I really, _really_ like you, Dem.”

Their foreheads touch. He’s not sure which of them leaned in first. Demyx shuts his eyes as he takes a slow, shaky breath in. And with the next out breath, he says it.

“I think I love you.”

He hears Axel gasp. For a second, he thinks he’s ruined everything. He’s terrified to open his eyes now that it’s out there. It’s scary, but he knows he doesn’t want to take it back. It’s not a mistake or a slip of the tongue. He _knows_ that he was the one to demand that there be no strings attached. But he can’t help himself.

It isn’t until he feels their lips touch again that he allows himself to relax. Axel’s hand comes up to hold the side of his head. The kiss is slow and sweet, and everything he’s ever wanted. And yeah, it kind of is like the movies. The spark is there. The overwhelming feeling of love is there, _right_ beneath the adrenaline.

Axel pulls away, chuckling softly. After a brief period of silence, he says, in a voice that’s barely above a whisper, “It’s been maybe...six years since I’ve heard _anyone_ say that to me. Thank you...”

Demyx’s heart sinks the second he sees Axel’s tears. He pulls him into his arms and holds him, letting him cry it out. He’s so glad he said it. He’s glad that Axel knows how he really feels about him.

It doesn’t feel all that scary anymore. Love is something that everyone needs, right? He might as well give it while he can. He whispers it again as he smoothes Axel’s hair back. Finally, he’s doing something right. Being here, holding him, and loving him... _this_ is what he’s meant to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t worry, this isn’t over. I still have some things planned for this au and I really think you’ll like them. But I can’t thank you enough for reading this. This story and this ship means the world to me and I’m happy other people like it too.


End file.
